Fear and Gratitude

In today’s world, it can be incredibly easy to get caught up in many different kinds of fear. I’ve written about this before, but it’s come to mind again recently. As a preface, this is a vulnerable post that describes something I struggle with, so if you’re not up for that, it’s ok if you choose to come back tomorrow.

I feel like everywhere I turn there’s another advertisement for cancer care, another blog for someone who just found out they have cancer, or another charity event to raise money for (insert type of person) with cancer. It’s an incredible thing to see so many people rally to the cause and to see the positive effect it has on the people going through the struggle. (This doesn’t apply to just cancer — it can apply to many different topics, but this is one that hits home for me.)

All of these things can add up to be a bit overwhelming at times, especially for me. I’ve always been scared of getting sick — any kind of sick — and cancer is the ultimate form of getting sick. A billboard for cancer care burns a logo into our minds alongside an image of a family member, friend, or coworker we know or knew during their battle with the disease… Which makes it a powerful branding tool for those in the business of treating disease.

As I’ve grown older (perhaps this is a common occurrence), I’ve grown more aware of my mortality… Really, now that I think of it, I’ve been intensely aware of my mortality since a very young age. Seeing things like cancer care advertisements brings that awareness back to the forefront in the form of an intrusion into my psyche that I have not asked for. However, I know there are real people (a growing number) suffering from the disease and it’s a real possibility that many of us will face it in our lifetimes. Compared to their struggle, my fear is of relatively small importance.

So the question I’ve found myself asking is this: in the face of so much uncertainty, and even occasional fear, how can I remain positive, upbeat, and grateful?

One solution came to me as I listened to Episode 6 of the James Altucher Show with Dr. Wayne Dyer. In it, Dr. Dyer asserts that we invite into our lives the things we expect to come into our lives. The power of our mind is immense, and we control what we allow to control us.

As he made the comment, I came to a realization. One way to interpret the landscape I described above is to become fearful and shy away from reality as much as possible. Another is to embrace hope and be ever more grateful for every gift we’re given, whether the gift is related to our health, relationships, finances, career, or anything else.

Whereas an attitude of fear invites that fear into our lives and allows it to take over, an attitude of gratitude and optimism invites positivity into our lives. It allows us to support the people who need us (like those who may have been diagnosed with cancer, recently lost a job, or are suffering through some other challenge), while valuing every opportunity we have to create the life we want.

When we own the fact that we create our reality, it becomes much easier to let go of fear, express gratitude for every gift we have been given, proactively invest in the habits and relationships that create the reality we desire, and ultimately have faith in God that he’ll take care of us if we take care of ourselves.

When I change my outlook, it helps me change my actions, and vice versa. I believe I’m here for a reason. I believe God put me here and gave me free choice to act on my beliefs. And I believe that I have the opportunity to affect my future, today and everyday thereafter. But to do all of the above, I have to come from a place of hope and gratitude, not one of fear and anxiety.

I hope this post is a form of positive affirmation for you today. If you’d like to share fears you’ve had now or in the past, I’d love to hear about them in the comments.

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How to Build a Legacy

This past weekend I delivered the closing session at the Georgia Collegiate Leadership 2014 conference. The conference is hosted by the Leadership Resource Team at UGA and supported by the Center for Student Organizations.

GCLC 2014 featured an opening keynote by Adam Shepard, 20+ workshops spread across four sessions, a case study competition centered on mental health, and my closing talk. The planning team set a new record for the conference this year, with 475+ registered attendees. It looked like at least 300-350 stuck around for the closing session from my vantage point on stage.

A few posts back, I published a post called “Legacy Building: Explore. Invest. Build.” It was intended to be a rough draft of the talk I planned to give at GCLC. However, as I did my first couple of practice runs through the talk, it felt very average. I didn’t think it reflected the brand we’re building at Living for Monday or the kind of speaker I want to become as I continue to build my skills.

48 hours before the conference I made the tough decision to rebuild the entire talk, almost from scratch. I had new ideas about how to create a much more engaging talk, and I wanted to test them out. Many people wouldn’t share that reality publicly, but I think this is more common than many people realize amongst speakers. You tinker and fiddle with a presentation right up until you go on stage.

The conference was not officially recorded, but Michael, my girlfriend’s younger brother, was kind enough not only to attend the talk but also to record it on his iPhone. It’s not the highest quality video ever because, after all, it was an iPhone, but the sound comes through pretty clear. I hope you enjoy.

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My Ideal Presentation Preparation Process

You look out at the crowd from the side of the stage. You feel the butterflies and your palms are sweaty. You hear your name from the conference organizer and you get ready to climb the stairs to the stage. 30 minutes of uninterrupted talking is in your immediate future.

That’s the feeling I still get everytime I get ready to speak in public. Granted, I’m not a seasoned vet of the national conference speaking circuit, but I’ve probably had more opportunities to speak in public than 80%+ of people my age. It’s a privilege I’m grateful for and one I’ll continue to take advantage of as I work hard to become a great storyteller and communicator.

Over the next two months, I’ll have the opportunity to speak at two conferences I’m very excited about:

• February 8th: Georgia Collegiate Leadership Conference – Athens, GA
• Topic: Leaving a Legacy as a Student Leader
• March 28th: TEDxUGA – Athens, GA
• Topic: Living for Monday is the new standard for career success

I’m incredibly excited and humbled by both opportunities, which means I’m taking my preparation very seriously. I’ve invested time in books and people that have helped me understand how to create a prep process that will help me feel prepared to deliver a great experience for the audience. 

I figure sharing my process for preparation could be helpful for others, so here goes.

Research and Resources

First off, the resources I think are most helpful for learning how to design, practice, and deliver a great talk:

• The Minto Pyramid Principle – Perhaps one of the best books of all time for understanding a framework for structured, clear communication. This is required reading for management consultants, and I believe it is one of the best books to read for current or aspiring public speakers. It’s ridiculously expensive, but it delivers real value.
• Stand and Deliver by Dale Carnegie Training — a good introduction and overview to the preparation process for delivering a pro-level presentation
• How to Deliver a TED Talk by Jeremey Donovan — the author has taken the time to analyze hundreds of the most successful TED talks to understand what makes them engaging and powerful. He shares overall strategies for presentation prep, design, and delivery
• Resonate by Nancy Duarte — Duarte is also the name of the author’s agency that builds custom slide presentations for executive-level speakers. This book presents the principles Duarte has learned in analyzing some of the most powerful speeches of all time.
• Slide:ology by Nancy Duarte — Another book from Duarte focused specifically on the visual presentation of information through presentation software. The book outlines how to most effectively create a presentation companion.
• Presentation Zen by Garr Reynolds — This is a great overview text on building a process for presentation creation and then turning it into an engaging set of slides that will make the presentation better (rather than making the audience’s eyes glaze over).
• Top 20 TED talks of all time — This is a list of the most watched TED talks of all time as of the end of 2013, according to TED itself. Once you have an established understanding of frameworks and theories, it is incredibly helpful to see real examples. These talks would be a great place to start developing an applied understanding of how to deliver a great talk.

The Framework

The first thing I do in preparing any talk is to come up with the key idea. This is much the same as writing an article. I always come up with a headline first, then write the article, then rewrite the headline for the best outcome. Presentations can be created in a similar fashion.

Once I have an idea of the outcome, I try to stick to a 3×3 outline with an intro tagged on the front and a conclusion on the end. The framework looks like this:

• Key Point #1: Problem
• Key Point #1: Proof
• Key Point #1: Premise
• Key Point #2: Problem
• Key Point #2: Proof
• Key Point #2: Premise
• Key Point #3: Problem
• Key Point #3: Proof
• Key Point #3: Premise

The key points support the main message of the talk in one of two ways, which come from The Minto Pyramid Principle. First, you can use the key points to explain how the main message works in practice. Or, second, you can use the key points to explain why the main message is true or why the audience should believe what you believe.

So, if your presentation main message were “Atlanta Tech Village is the best place to work in Atlanta” then the three key points might be:

1. You can meet other smart entrepreneurs
2. Atlanta Tech Village a widely recognized brand in Atlanta
3. They have free snacks

This would be a “Why” logic to support your main message.

The problem -> proof -> premise framework comes from a combination of Resonate and How to Deliver a TED Talk. The problem -> proof progression highlights the principles from Resonate, in which Duarte argues that some of the best speeches in history create a picture of some problem in the world and then contrast that with a vision for the future. The problem = problem; the premise = an anecdote or visionary tale of the future.

The proof -> premise progression comes from How to Deliver a TED Talk in which Donovan argues that great presentations first use anecdotes or research-based evidence to tell a story that proves the key point. However, the story does not directly make the point until after the audience has been led through the emotional up and down of the story to reach a similar conclusion on their own. The premise comes when you outline and clearly state the key point, creating a shared language and instilling the point in the minds of the audience.

With this framework, you would introduce your main message. Then, you would outline the key points to come, preparing the audience for the checkpoints along the way. Then you would work through each key point using the problem -> proof -> premise structure.

This creates a feeling in the audience of: “I hear the main message” then “I know what to expect over the next 30-60 minutes” then “Oh no, that’s a problem! Oh, but that is a really cool vision for a better future. Wow, that’s a really intriguing point and he already proved it to me with that story.” then “Ah, I see, that was part 1, now we’re moving on to part 2.” then “I get it, the key message was BLAH, he supported that with the three key points, and his conclusion made one last passionate argument for why we should believe what he believes.”

One last point: I try to keep a talk to three key points, but sometimes I will include as many as five. The fewer key points you make, the more likely the audience will be to remember your message and be able to relay it to others. There is only so much an audience can process in one presentation. Your job is to make them intrigued enough about your idea to learn more, not to relay all of your knowledge in one hour.

Research + Anecdotes

One further practice I like to incorporate into my presentations is tying research to anecdotes. Research proves that there is some basis for the points I am making. Anecdotes create an emotional tie to the data presented by research. The combination of the two make the connection between theory and practice, logic and emotion.

Practically speaking, research and anecdotes can be tied into any part of the 3×3 framework. The problem can and should incorporate an anecdote that relates back to some research proving that there is a real problem. The proof can use an anecdote to relate back to research showing what is possible if some change is made in the world. The premise can summarize all of it into a key point the audience can relate to because you have appealed to both logic and emotion.

Creating the Presentation

To sum everything up, here is a bullet list for my project prep process (I’ll let you know how it works out for me after these two talks):

1. Understand the conference’s theme, audience, requirements (time/space/etc), and background
2. Create a main message or “headline” for the talk
3. Create a list of outcomes for the audience
4. Write a blog post based roughly on the outcomes to get everything related to the topic out of my head and onto paper
5. Create a 3×3 outline, starting with key points and then problem + proof. I do this on sticky notes so I can see them arranged in a 3×3 grid. I don’t write the entire thing out, just create bullets that serve as cues for my talking points.
6. Create an introduction and conclusion
7. Record a practice session using the outline
8. Listen to the practice session.
9. Make edits
10. Repeat steps 7-9 five times
11. Decide whether slides will make the presentation better or simply distract the audience from the message
12. Sketch slides on post it notes based on my edited outline
13. Repeat steps 7-10. Here I have the sticky note sketches in front of me and practice for when I would switch the slides as I speak.
14. Create digital versions of the slides using presentation software (Keynote/Powerpoint/Prezi/etc). Primarily image-driven slides. No more than 10 words per slide, preferably less than 6.
15. Repeat steps 7-10. Make updates in the slides accordingly.
16. Finalize presentation.
17. If time, edit the original brain dump blog post based on the finalized presentation. This is where you can include all of the information that didn’t fit into the presentation. You can add footnotes, images, graphs, detailed research references, etc.
18. Edit the document and create a PDF version. Send it to the conference organizer after the presentation to provide to attendees. They will appreciate a take home that helps them dive deeper if they are interested in the topic.

I believe that if I am going to speak in public, I should be well-prepared and engaging. Most presentations I have seen throughout my life have been incredibly boring, do not effectively use research + anecdotes, and leave me wondering what else I could have done with the hour I spent listening. My aspiration is to give the best talk anyone in the audience has ever heard. I won’t reach that bar every time I speak (if ever). However, if I’m not willing to shoot for that bar, then I believe I should save everyone time and energy by foregoing the opportunity to speak at all. 

How do you prepare for presentations? How could I improve my preparation process? Who is the best speaker you have ever heard in person? What was the best talk topic you have ever heard?

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Legacy Building: Explore. Invest. Build.

In February I’ll be anchoring the 2014 Georgia Collegiate Leadership Conference as the closing speaker. The theme revolves around building a legacy, specifically as a student leader. It’s not an easy task, building a legacy in four (or five) short years, but it’s certainly possible. This post is a precursor to my talk on how to do just that.

Act I: Explore the Possibilities

You show up to college and get assigned a dorm room. Instantly surrounded by people and places you don’t know, you have all the freedom in the world to explore and become whoever you want to be. Class, parties, studying, and student organizations vie for your attention and are at your fingertips. Your campus map is your best friend and that excited nervousness (bordering on anxiety) becomes a regular feeling as you get to know the place you’ll call home for the next 4-5 years.

If you’re like me, your first semester or two will be a difficult transition. I managed to join a fraternity, develop quite the drinking habit, and land myself in jail in the first 3 months of being at school. The rest of my year was consumed by mandated counseling sessions, AA meetings (yes, that AA), visits to my probation officer, and the stark reality that one more slip up and I’d be kicked out of school for a year. You won’t be surprised to hear that it wasn’t the most pleasant way to get my college career kicked off. If there were an ideal way to build a legacy in college, my first-year story probably represents the opposite of it. That’s one path, but it’s not the only path.

Many people experience what I would consider to be the ideal way to kick off a college career. You’re sitting in your dorm room one day playing Xbox or watching a chick flick to avoid studying and a hallmate drops by. “Hey, you want to come to this Big Brother, Big Sister meeting with me?” they say. Your first instinct is to hop up and get dressed, but then your lizard brain fires up. In your mind you run through all the reasons why you shouldn’t go:  “What the hell is Big Brother, Big Sister?” “I’m not the kind of person who goes to that kind of meeting. I’m a younger sibling!” “I don’t even know this dude that well. What if he kidnaps me and locks me in his car trunk!?” Eventually, you realize you’ve been awkwardly silent for way too long, and response with the first lie you can think of, “No no, I gotta get past this mission in Call of Duty. See you later.”

Your hallmate walks off and you think to yourself, “Really, dude? Get past this level of Call of Duty?” As you sit there trying to conquer the game, you find yourself distracted by not having attended the event with your friend. You run a quick search on your computer for Big Brothers Big Sisters at your university and land on the student organizations catalogue. Down the rabbit hole you go, learning about the incredible opportunities all over campus. Before you know it you have 10+ organizations you want to become a part of and you’re wondering how you’ll fit the whole class thing into your schedule.

Next thing you know you’re inviting your roommate to go to an informational meeting with you. And another. And another.

You meet great people, have great experiences and become a part of true communities. Along the way, you meet a mentor (or a few) who begin to help you through tough decisions, struggles, and priorities. A professor, an older student, a graduate advisor — mentors take many forms. They become your guide along the way, using their life experience to give perspective to experiences you’ve never been a part of before.

Just like that, your first year becomes a year of exploration. Exploration of the endless possibilities around campus. Exploration of the groups of people you can consider your friends. Exploration of the talents and skills and experiences you’ll gain by getting involved. Exploration of your potential. All under the guidance of important mentors.

The first step to building a legacy is simple: explore the possibilities.

Act II: Invest Wisely

One day you wake up at noon, having slept through your morning classes. Exhausted, you realize all of that exploration has become a distraction. You’re involved in so many groups and activities that you’re spread too thin. You can say you’re a part of many things but a key contributor to none.

I found myself in this situation when I was serving as president of my fraternity, exec board member for Dawg Camp, orientation leader for the university, member of the Leonard Leadership Scholars Program, and double majoring in accounting and finance…. all at the same time. On paper, I was on top of the world, serving in more leadership roles than most people get to experience in their entire college careers.

But despite the glitz and glamour of the great opportunities, I was drowning. My to-do list required 48-hour days, two brains, and four hands to complete. I would pick up the ball to run with it for one of my roles and simultaneously drop the ball in two other roles. Meanwhile, my grades were suffering as I damaged relationships with professors and classmates who saw my potential but became disappointed in my execution.

While I don’t think this experience is necessary either, I think it is the norm amongst student leadership circles. It’s the leadership equivalent of binge drinking — we get so obsessed with getting picked for roles and responsibilities that we forget about the execution and delivery part of the equation. I think there’s a better way that will make you more likely to leave a legacy when you finish your college career.

The key to act II of building a legacy is to select opportunities carefully and pour into them. Unlike a stock portfolio, at this stage in the game, more diversification is not a good thing. It’s more like picking a few high growth stocks and investing heavily in them. Focus is everything as you narrow your scope from exploration to investment.

This is the point where you pick one to three opportunities that seem like they will afford you the greatest opportunity to leave a legacy you are proud of. You’ll use these opportunities to begin pouring the foundations upon which your legacy will be built. To do this effectively, you’ll have to seek out low level leadership roles in each organization. Become a committee chair, a VP, or take on a specific project — whatever you do, be sure you have an area of responsibility that allows you complete autonomy. Create goals that are specific, measurable, and attainable during your term while still building towards the larger mission and vision of the organization.

Investing wisely and heavily in a small number of important opportunities will allow you to do a couple of things:

1. Prove to yourself that you are capable of setting goals, making plans, and achieving results
2. Prove to yourself that failure is not fatal, but rather a valuable learning process
3. Prove to others that you are capable of leading with integrity
4. Prove to everyone you have immense potential to create a vision and build a legacy

This stage happens in your second and third years of college (for five year students, it can occupy part of your fourth year). It’s when you have some experience under your belt but you’re still learning.

Invest your time, energy, and resources in learning, working, and failing for organizations and projects you care deeply about. Choose carefully, but choose. Over-stretching your resources leads to disappoint.

Act II of building your legacy is an important one: invest wisely.

 

Act III: Build a Legacy

You’re tired. You’ve been through trials and tribulations. You’ve succeeded in grand fashion and you’ve failed in epic crash-and-burn style. You have scars along with the stories to back them up. You know what it’s like to lead and you know what it’s like to follow. Before you make your final push to build  lasting legacy, you need a break to digest all that you’ve learned so you can put it to good use as you close out your college career.

I return to my journey along this path and an immense challenge I faced in my leadership development process. It came from my role as president of my fraternity. 6-8 years prior to my term as president, our group had been kicked off campus for a hazing incident that resulted in a member dying in a car accident. The culture of the group at the time was closer to animal house than to the leadership and Christian roots we had been founded on. As with many things in life, the life of a fraternity is often cyclical and I saw us heading back down the path that led to our removal from campus.

I had to fight a ton of hard battles to keep us away from going down the rabbit hole of hazing and drugs. By the time my term was over, I was simply exhausted. I had nothing left to give to the group, or any other group for that matter, which meant that it was time for a break.

My girlfriend and I took a semester to study abroad at Oxford University. On that trip, I focused on exactly two things: studying and traveling around Europe. We had an absolutely blast, but, perhaps more importantly, I also had time to process all that I had learned through my leadership activities. When I returned home I felt like a new man, reenergized and refocused on the things that mattered most to me.

I leveraged my energy to build what would become my legacy at UGA. The only group I was involved with upon my return was ODK, a leadership honor society which I had been tasked with rebuilding as the first president after it was refounded at UGA. We had a completely blank slate, and I was able to use all of my knowledge, skills, and experience to build a successful organization. The group now has a strong presence on UGA’s campus, with an excellent recruiting process, a strong leadership team, and a powerful engine for taking on new projects. In the semester after I left school, they were able to launch “The Chapel Bell,” a positive press publication that highlights the innovation, excitement, and positive stories from around campus. The publication had previously been a pipe dream, but with such a talented group of people it quickly grew a small but passionate group of readers. Now, it exists as its own organization completely external to ODK.

I tell this last story to emphasize the last stage of the legacy-building process, which is when you really leave your mark. You spend years during college developing interests, passions, skills, connections, experiences, and a vision. Your last semester or year in college is the time to leverage these things to make a mark on the group(s) that matter most to you.

Ultimately, building a legacy is about creating something that can function without you. It’s about building something that impacts real people and creates some change in the world. Only after you have explored the possibilities, invested wisely in the most important opportunities, taken a break to process, and come back to make your mark can you truly build a lasting legacy as a student leader.

The hardest part is this: the day you graduate, you won’t know whether you’ve done it. You may have put in as much time, energy, and resources as you possibly could have… But the day you know you built a legacy is the day you know the organization or project or thing you built is functioning without you — perhaps without even knowing you ever touched it.

So I leave you with this quote: “It is amazing what you can accomplish when no one cares who gets the credit.” – Harry Truman.

When what you care about is the impact (not the credit,), and when that impact is being made without you present, that is when you know you’ve built a legacy.

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My Theme for 2014: Foundations

The theme for my 2014: foundations.

Two years ago I started. Living for Monday. The first year, 2012, was all about learning. Learning the basics of running a business, learning what it takes to make products, build an audience, and write for that audience.

2013 was year two of the business and turned out to be all about connection. Connecting to Atlanta Global-Shapers and the worldwide Global Shapers network, especially all of the inspiring curators. Connecting to Atlanta as a city and the incredible people that make it up. Connecting to inspiring entrepreneurs, creatives, and authors. Connecting to the people that make up the Living for Monday community,

And this year, well, this year is about foundations. The first full year living independently with Nicole Foo. The first full year of managing a budget effectively. Setting foundations for sleep, diet and exercise habits that I’ll continue to maintain for the rest of my life. Foundations for audience building and revenue streams at Living for Monday.

Yup, 2014 is about foundations. What’s your theme for the year?

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The Brand Muse and a Dialogue

In my last post, I told a story using exercises from Jonah Sachs’ book Winning the Story Wars. Today I want to continue with the exercise by describing our brand muse, and sharing a conversation between our ‘brand mentor’ (our company) and our ‘brand hero’ (our customer).

The Muse

The Captain

The Captain muse says that our true goal is to empower those around us to become leaders themselves. It falls on us to bring out the heroic action from those around us. We steadfastly guide those who choose to follow and our greatest strength comes from the trust we inspires. We are idealistic, confident, tireless, and brave.

[This description adapted from Winning the Story Wars by Jonah Sachs.]

A Conversation Between Our Brand Hero and Brand Mentor

Setting: Online or in person

Mentor: Do great work. Be fulfilled. Have an impact.

Hero: That seems like such a distant dream – so far away and so hard to reach. What if I fail? What if I don’t have an impact?

Mentor: You have everything you need inside of you. Every person can have an impact on the world, and everyone should try. Believe in yourself.

Hero: The world is a big place… What if I just want to be more fulfilled personally or live a better life?

Mentor: That is exactly where you should start. To impact the world, start by improving yourself. You are more powerful and have more potential than you may know right now. Start with yourself, the rest will follow.

Hero: What does changing the world even mean… is it really possible?

Mentor: Impacting the world means making one person’s life better. It means serving the world around you and spreading love to other people. When you help one person you help the world.

Hero: I think I can do that. But where do I even start? There is so much to do. Who can help me on this journey?

Mentor: Start with today. We will help. That’s why we exist. We want to help you reach your potential and maximize your impact on the world.

Hero: Will you help all along the way?

Mentor: We will help when you want help and guide when you want guidance and serve alongside you when you need service.

Hero: How can I repay you?

Mentor. Do great work. Be fulfilled. Have an impact. Your fulfillment is our success. Your impact is our pride.

So there it is — an exchange between our brand hero and our brand mentor. We are here to help people do great work, be fulfilled and have an impact. Our audience is on the edge of greatness, poised with great talents and potential, but unsure of where to start and how to continue.

That’s what we’re here for. Our new logo (secrets coming out of the bag, here) represents our customer’s compass. We are a mentor ready to provide help whenever our hero needs it along his journey. And we’re here to help him enjoy the journey, for he”ll only pass this way once.

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The Living for Monday Brand Hero

Today I completed several branding and storytelling exercises from a book titled The Story Wars by Jonah Sachs. The book is an outstanding resource for marketing and branding and today I would like to share the results of my writing. As a preface, the book refer’s often to Joseph Campbell’s The Hero’s Journey and uses the concept to drive these branding exercises. The terms ‘hero’ and ‘mentor’ are terms from The Hero’s Journey and translate to customer and business/brand respectively in this context

The first task: describe our brand hero (customer) in as much detail as possible

A hard-working, industrious individual who believes in being fulfilled in life, feels a higher calling or purpose, and ultimately wants to have a positive impact on other people… but he does not know where to start or what path to follow to find purpose, fulfillment, and impact, so he simply accepts the world as it is and does the best he can to get by.

The second task: write a letter from our brand hero (customer) to a friend, detailing the world as it is, why it no longer makes sense, and the call to adventure he feels deep inside

Dear friend,

Here I am wading through life – I’m doing well for myself by conventional standards. I am able to pay the bills, have fun, and not worry about too much. I do my job well for the most part and my boss likes me. I can’t say that I’m one of the star performers in the office, but I also know they would never lay me off. I guess I tell you all this because it just feels so off.

When I was in college and even high school, people – my relatives, teachers, guidance counselors – always encouraged me to choose a major and course of study that was practical and useful for a career. I took their advice and then when it came time to graduate, I felt this tremendous pressue to “do what I was supposed to do.” I still don’t know if I understand what that means… so I made up some criteria that seemed like they would make everyone happy. I needed to get paid well – well enough to pay the bills and live on my own at a minimum. I needed to find a job that carried some prestige with it – people needed to be able to recognize the company I went to work for or they needed to be able to understand the importance of my role. Finally, I felt like I needed to be in close proximity to home. I felt like I would let my family down if I went on some “crazy adventure” to another city, state, or country. So I followed directions and did what I was supposed to do.

Now, here I am at work and I feel like there are other things I’m supposed to do. I’m supposed to drive a nice car, and buy a house. I’m supposed to work long hours and not have much control over my work. I’m supposed to have a fancy wardrobe and work really hard to impress the right people. I’m supposed to keep my head down and not cause trouble. I get two weeks ‘vacation’ but I’m really only supposed to take one week per year and go to the beach or something.

So I guess all in all, I’ve done what I’m supposed to do and I live a pretty good life by society’s standards. I’m thankful for that.

Listen, I’m not complaining here because I’m not a big complainer. But I guess what I’m getting at is that there’s something more for me out there and I’m not exactly sure how to put my finger on what that means… but I need to try.

I’ve got all this schooling, skills, and experience and I’m supposed to just keep my head down and do my work. I’m supposed to show up, clock in, clock out, and leave my work at the office. But I imagine a life where I don’t have to separate my work and personal lives because they’re tied together. I can imagine matching my background with really big problems… personal problems that affect real people… and then having a huge impact on others by relieving their pain that’s created by those problems. I guess I just feel like I have so much talent and I want to put it to use by helping other people and having a positive impact on the world around me. I’m just not that sure how to do that. I don’t even know where to start.

Then I feel like I’m supposed to have all these things — cars, clothes, houses… just stuff. Don’t get me wrong. I like having nice things, but I always feel like I’m supposed to be buying more and more stuff and signing new car leases and buying a bigger house. Something about that seems broken to me. I mean, what if I could put my finger on the things that really matter to me – the stuff that I deem essential to living a good life and then get rid of everything else and just be happy. What if I could cherish the things I already have and build a life around those things – really use everything I have an invest in myself by doing so. For example, I’ve got 50 books on my shelves that I haven’t read and I keep buying new ones. But what if I decided to read all of them before I buy anymore. I can just imagine how fulfilling it would be to have really experienced all of the things I won. And what about my baseball card collection? What id I got rid of a bunch of crap so I can display my cards? That would make me so happy – I love my cards. But how do I even start whittling down to what I want and what I don’t? It’s so much easier to just leave it.

You know what else bothers me? I feel like somewhere along the way I picked up these less than ideal health habits. At work we wine and dine clients and potential new hires. I don’t exercise as much as I’d really like to and I don’t even really eat that well. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not way unhealthy. I stil take care of myself. But I guess I imagine so much more. I envision having a great body image, increasing my chances for living a long, healthy life, and being confident that I’m taking care of myself. I want to run around and play and eat delicious, healthy good and feel great about myself. I want to truly enjoy being ‘healthy.’ I know its possible and I know I have it in me. I believe in me, but again I don’t know where to start. I could join a gym, but I wouldn’t know what to do when I got there. I could buy pots and pans, but I wouldn’t know how to cook a darn thing.

And then there’s this whole relationship thing. Do I have friends? Yes. Am I intentional about spending quality time with them and letting them know how much they mean to me? No. It’s the same way with my family and love life. I say I care about these people (because I do)… but then I spend hours on Facebook or work too much. I want to be spending awesome time with a significant other, keeping up with family, and enjoying new hobbies with my best friends. I know I could be planning a fun date night every week… I can imagine a weekly update email to my family and asking them all to respond. What if I planned a quarterly weekend trip with my five best friends and we could serve together, learn together, play together, and develop new hobbies — man that would be awesome! These things matter to me, but it seems like all we ever do when we get together is go out for drinks or a pizza. I know I can change that and I want so much more, but I dont even know where to start, what to plan, or where to go.

This is a big problem – I make decent money, but I still live paycheck to paycheck. I’m not dying for money or anything… but I have a ton of bills… and credit card debt. I want to plan for te future, travel, take mini-retirements, grow wealth to pass to my kids someday, and pay it forward to non-profit organizations. I believe I can earn more and have a bigger impact on others at the same time if I just start tackling some of those career issues I told you about earlier. Oooh and you know what – If I simplified my life I could start spending less on things I don’t care about, get rid of my debt, save more, and then start spending more on the things I actually care about. I bet I coud even become a savvy investor if I really tried. Wow – I could paint a vivid picture of financial security. But dang, I’m in a bit of a hol right now. Where do I start? How would I even go about learning these things?

Te last thing I think is kind of screwed up is how uncomfortable I am where I live. I want to to travel and explore and all of those things, but I also want to feel like I’m coming home to where I live. I don’t have a spiritual community, I almost never volunteer time or money near where I live, I dont know what’s going on with local government, and I don’t even know the fun stuff to do around here. But I can picture exploring my hometown like it’s a foreign place. I can imagine having a spiritual home and a small group of spiritual mentors. What if I served in my community regularly? And what if I knew the local restaurant owners and I hot spots so I could host guests and have favorite places to spend time. Wow… so much to do. Ah! These are all great ideas, but I’m so overwhelmed. I guess that’s why I never get started on any of them.

I’m not sure what my goal was when I sat down to write this letter to you. But what I’ve realized is that I have all this untapped potential and I want to do great things in the world. I know I can live better and help others. There is so much opportunity. I’m pumped. I’m ready. It’s time to start living a fulfilling life that I can fall in love with.. So the question is, where do you think I should start?

-The Brand Hero

 So that’s the 1500 word letter from our Brand Hero to his friend calling out the things he sees that no longer make sense and identifying a calling to go on an adventure. He wants to explore and doesn’t know where to start.  That’s exactly where the Brand Mentor comes in (Living for Monday). We’ll pick up with the rest of the branding exercises in the next post.

PS: Gallup has identified the five core areas of well-being. They are: Career, Financial, Physical, Social, and Community. Read back through the letter again and see if you can identify how the Brand Hero is calling each of these areas out in his own life and desires more.

As you were reading, was there any point in this letter that you felt like you could have been the author? Could you picture someone you know being the author? If so, send me an email… let me know what you identified with. Barrett (at) livingformonday.com

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25 Things I’ve Learned in 25 Years

Yup, you guessed it — it’s my birthday. Another year passed by and today I’m 25 years old. I’ve had wonderful opportunities in my life and I’ve put myself through some hard knocks too. Here are 25 lessons I’ve taken away from my 25 years.

1.    Family is an amazing gift. It has been so easy to take my family for granted over the years – especially growing up. But with every minute I spend invested in conversation and caring with my family, my appreciation for their contribution to my life grows.

2.    Faith serves as a wonderful compass. I have not always had the strongest faith. I neglected that aspect of my life for a long time. Taking the time to explore it and integrate it into my life has served as a great compass for important decisions and small matters alike.

3.    Passion is transient, but extremely important. I know my passions will change over time. It is in the nature of passion to shift and mold to new circumstances and new interests. Nonetheless, passion serves as a powerful motivator and a key indicator of whether I am pursuing work that matters.

4.    Purpose comes from self-exploration. Finding purpose has always seemed like such an elusive thing. What I have found for me is that my sense of purpose has come from A LOT of time exploring my soul and learning about myself. Pairing that with learning about the world around me has allowed me to understand where I can contribute most and what I feel most called to do.

5.    The desire to learn is a powerful tool. Speaking of learning about myself and the world, I have found that my desire to learn new things constantly has become one of the most important and powerful tools I have. I know that I can and will always learn in the pursuit of mastery and use the knowledge to serve others.

6.    Service to others puts my own life in perspective. This lesson has presented itself repeatedly, and often at just the right time. This year I was challenged beyond my capacity to serve, which pushed my limits to new heights. Last year I was challenged to leave my job and pursue something more true to myself. I know that no matter what I am facing in life, time spent away in service will always serve as the perfect reset button to put life in perspective.

7.    Leadership has its consequences. Through informal and formal leadership roles, I have learned that decisions are rarely easy and never will everyone be happy with my course of action. Leadership has opened me up to painful criticisms, self-doubt, and sometime repercussions. My litmus test is always whether I feel I have done the right thing, but at times it has been very hard to face the consequences of my decisions.

8.    Leadership also brings great reward. I’ve made mistakes and I’ve faced consequences of leadership, but the ultimate reason I continue pursuing leadership opportunities is the reward of impact. The reward comes when, years later, a person will send me a note or see me in a store and tell me about the impact I had on them or their thoughts on some long-forgotten decision. It always drives home the fact that people are listening and feeling and being impacted by the things I do and say. It increases the burden, but also reminds me of why I do the things I do.

9.    Close relationships make a world of difference. Having a wonderful girlfriend by my side has been so important for enjoying life and staying confident in moments of doubt. My closest friends have been stalwarts for me, delivering never ending love, respect, and support. Mentors have proven to be one of the most valuable sources of advice and guidance, helping me make important decisions and asking me the right questions.

10.Finding the right outlets for my competitive side is crucial. I thrive on competition in so many ways, and yet I don’t like competing with my teammates, business partners, or customers. I’ve found a sort of outlet in competing against my potential, but in reality I still need a real outlet. I find that outlet in sports – basketball, baseball, golf, etc. It’s so important for my wellbeing to have at least one of those outlets in my life at all times.

11.Failure sucks, but it’s a necessary evil. Ah, failure. How many times I’ve looked that sucker directly in the face and accepted the fact that I didn’t accomplish what I set out to do. In just the last year I’ve failed repeatedly in building Living for Monday. When I think back across life, I can remember failure after failure – and yet the lessons are what I remember most about each of those experiences. Failure sucks in the moment, but it has taught me the most valuable lessons I have learned in my life. I’m ok with that.

12.Books are like fuel for my mind and passion. In the aggregate, I have always been an avid reader. But in the details, there was a period of several years when I was too cool for books and learning – what a true pity it is that I didn’t invest in myself during that period of my life. When I found my way back to reading during my semester at Oxford it was like a light being turned back on inside of me. My intrigue returned and my desire to learn was ignited. Books have fueled my mental growth and my sense of passion for the past several years, and I know they will continue to in the future.

13.Prestige means very little when it comes time to do the work. I mostly learned this lesson the hard way. Coming out of school I was all about the prestige and pay of the jobs I was pursuing. Management consulting was this heralded industry for an undergrad to get into (at least in my mind). What I learned was that when it came time to do the actual work – the prestige meant very little. It was all about culture, teamwork, and belief in what we were accomplishing. If those things don’t exist, the work doesn’t matter for me.

14. The most interesting jobs aren’t advertised. I didn’t learn this one until I really started digging in to the recruiting, careers, and coaching spaces. The more I researched and the more former coachees had success in the marketplace, the more I realized that the most interesting jobs don’t get blasted over a loud speaker. Companies with truly interesting jobs are going out and finding the right people intentionally, not just plastering job boards with advertisements, job descriptions, and selling points. Are there exceptions to this? Almost certainly. But a given person’s dream job is hardly ever sitting on a job board waiting for them to apply and be chosen.

15. The power of a team is immense. I’m not sure what I really expected of this whole entrepreneurial experience when I set out. I can’t recall if I really knew whether I wanted to be a one man show or a leader of a full team and company. What I know now thanks to plenty of great questioning from friends, family, and mentors is that I want a team running in the same direction as me. I thrive on the opportunity to interact with great minds and be inspired by the people around me. I want to provide jobs to great people who want to make the world a better place and I want to treat them like kings.

I’ve been really fortunate to find a few people that really believe in what we’re up to at Living for Monday and have jumped on board early with no pay or glamour. Those people have made this journey so much more enjoyable and our goals so much more real.

16. “Sex, drugs, and alcohol” were much more entertaining in the absence of purpose. I had a rough few years there beginning with the end of high school and continuing through the beginning of college. I’m not sure I made a ton of lasting friendships and I know I acted like an idiot more than I care to remember. All those idiotic things that occupied my mind and took my energy and time were able to do that because I had a complete lack of purpose.

In the absence of a concentrated effort and a mission to drive me, I succumbed to vices that were easy to fall into. Thankfully, I began to find my feet and my purpose once I found myself in leadership roles that had other people looking to me for advice, example, etc. I finally realized that life needed to be more and I needed to give it more than I had been. This brings me to my next lesson…

17. A life with out values is a wandering life. Values have been my guiding light ever since they came into my life in my junior year of college. Paired with purpose, my values have allowed me to focus on ‘how I will measure my life’ as Clay Christensen puts it. It was easy to wander for years at a time because I hadn’t decided how I wanted to live or what I wanted to be remembered by. I still falter and go off the path created by my values, but at least now I know where my center is and I know what makes me most fulfilled.

18. Communication, whether written or verbal, is a necessity of leadership. I got lucky in developing speaking skills – I simply got placed in front of groups over and over and ended up having to develop the ability to speak to multiple people at a time. But my writing was horrendous. I never once had a class in my business curriculum that taught me how to write or communicate effectively. NEVER ONCE! What is that about? Luckily I ended up in programs that forced me to express myself on paper, especially the UGA at Oxford study abroad program. What I learned from all that happenstance is that the most valuable things (when it comes to work) I have to my name at this point are my written and verbal communication skills. They need a lot of work, but they also are my saving grace.

19. Hours are finite – they are to be used wisely. Wow. This has come up a lot again lately. As an entrepreneur it’s so easy to stay busy. The same goes for college students, professionals, and even kids these days. I’ve learned that simplicity and clarity, combined with good balance make the hours go a lot farther than they would otherwise. What do I mean by that? I mean that taking an hour to exercise actually makes every other hour way more productive. And taking time to read for pleasure gives me new ideas and ways of executing that I wouldn’t think of on my own. Spending time with family, friends, and Nicole gives me the fuel I need to get things done. Clear goals allow me to focus on the things that actually matter and not on the things that take up ridiculous amounts of time for no reason.

20. Energy is diminishing although renewable – saying no is important. Just like time, my energy gets depleted. There’s only so much effort I can put in before I need a recharge every day. I still have to challenge myself to say no and remember that I have limitations. I’ll never forget the feeling of having so much going on that I did nothing well. I want to be excellent at what I do, and I know that energy is what it takes to make that happen.

21. Money is not nearly as important as I think. I have to temper this one with a comment my mother made yesterday. She said that the reason some people my age think money is not important is because we have been taken care for much of our lives. I’m not sure if that’s the whole picture, but I will say that there is a certain level of income that we all need to live, obviously. Beyond that, we have a choice as to how much we need.

Money beyond the basic level of need can do a lot of things to a person. One is often referred to as lifestyle inflation and I don’t know that I want that to happen to me. Alternatively, money can also allow me to give back and travel and explore the world around me. For me, I want to take care of the basic needs of my family and I want to be able to invest in others and travel. But as a determining factor in the work I do, money is not the most important consideration for me.

22. Health and fitness bear confidence and fulfillment. Man, health and fitness are huge in my life. Every time I’ve let my health and fitness get shoved to the back seat I’ve been less than happy with myself. I’ve realized that I am more happy, fulfilled, confident, and energetic when I exercise regularly and eat well.

23. I was meant to be outside.  Being outside focuses my mind and renews my energy supply. I don’t know what there is about it that hits me in the gut, but being out in nature, whether up in the mountains or fishing or on a lake somewhere, really gets me going. It just seems like the way life is supposed to be for me.

24. Integrity always wins in the long term. Integrity means two things to me. First, it’s doing the right thing for the right reasons. Second, it’s being true to my purpose, values, and passions. I’ve learned that doing the right thing can mean different things to different people, and it is hard most of the time. I’ve learned that it can be equally hard to be true to myself. Despite that, I know that doing both in the long run will make me proud of the life I live.

25. Life is good, it should be cherished and not taken for granted.

Thanks for reading this long post on my birthday. Let me know what you think about my lessons learned and share one of yours in the comments as well.

P.S. If you’d like to help me celebrate my birthday, it would mean the world if you contributed $5, $25, $250, or whatever makes sense to you for my birthday campaign for Charity:Water. You can check it out here: http://mycharitywater.org/Barrettabrooks

Quick fact as to why it matters: “MORE PEOPLE DIE FROM LACK OF CLEAN WATER AND SANITATION each year than are killed by all forms of violence, including war.” That’s the real deal.

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Why I’m Giving Up my 25th Birthday for Charity:Water (And How You Can Help)

When I showed up to World Domination Summit 2012 in Portland at the beginning of July, I had no idea what Charity:Water was, why it was created, or who was behind all the work. When I left WDS 2012, I had become an avid supporter of the cause as a result of hearing the incredible stories from founder Scott Harrison.

Here’s why:

• Scott Harrison has an incredible personal story. He has turned his life around and dedicated himself to a cause that helps people in ways I can barely comprehend as a member of Western society. That makes me want to help him and the cause.
• The pictures of the diseases and pain being caused by contaminated water are unbelievable. And to think that clean water can solve so many of these problems makes me want to take action.
• Charity:Water has an incredible three-pronged approach to non-profit work. First, 100% of public donations (ie the ones to my birthday campaign) go directly to providing clean water for real people in Africa. Second, Charity:Water proves where every dollar goes. 18 months after making a donation, you will know what project you helped fund. Third, Charity:Water is a brand that Scott Harrison wants to be recognized across the globe. This three-pronged approach has been incredibly successful and built immense trust in their community.

Take a minute and imagine living a life in which you had no idea whether you would have clean water 12 hours later. Imagine spending every waking hour walking to and from a water source 4 hours from your home. Imagine having a permanently bent back as a result of carrying 50lb+ of water on your back for hours at a time… every day. Imagine seeing people all around you contract diseases and suffer as a result of contaminated water.

Now imagine contributing to the solution. Imagine opening up hours upon hours of time for people in Africa to learn in school, work to support their families, and maybe even enjoy life a little bit. By supporting my birthday campaign (and maybe pledging your next birthday), you can be part of the solution.

My 25th birthday is a month from now on September 7th. My fundraising goal is to have 200 people contribute $25 for a total of $5,000. That amount of money will allow us together to help an entire community of 50 families, or 250 individuals, get access to clean water.

Can you spare $25? How about $250? If times are tough, and $5 is all that you can afford, that means every bit as much to me. If you want to help out, you can contribute to my birthday campaign here: http://mycharitywater.org/Barrettabrooks.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for contributing. Thanks for being an awesome person. It means alot to me, and it means even more to the people you’ll help.

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Service and the Art of Gratitude

Last year I served as a volunteer camp counselor at a place called Camp Horizon and it all but forced me to quit my job in pursuit of something more meaningful. My experience as a freshman counselor inspired me to write this post titled, “12 Reasons to Engage in Service.”

My experience at camp this year affected me in a big way once again. Today I want to share a few stories from my week at camp (7/21 – 7/28) and what happened when I got back.

What’s important to understand about Camp Horizon is that every camper who arrives at camp has qualified for our programs because he or she is in state custody due to abuse or neglect at home. That’s pretty heavy stuff and it’s no joke. Although the kids have a ton of fun and act like regular, fun-loving kids in so many ways… they all have heartbreaking backgrounds that have landed them at camp in the first place.

Because of their backgrounds, we’re not allowed to take pictures, not allowed to mention their names outside of camp, and not allowed to have contact with them outside of sanctioned camp events throughout the year. These are all necessary safety precautions that serve both camper and counselor, but it also means that a counselor’s entire experience at camp begins and ends with our arrival to and departure from Camp Twin Lakes.

Now that we’ve got the background straight, back to the story:

My camper was the youngest at camp, just seven years old, in a place where the stated age of campers is 8-11. He came to camp because his brother and sister were both attending and he really didn’t like the thought of being left out. He was the first off the bus when the campers arrived to Camp Twin Lakes in Rutledge, GA. I knew immediately that he would be a funny kid to hang out with by the fact that he was wearing the camp founder’s huge clown sunglasses and took his welcome to camp picture with a cool lean and arms crossed.

I don’t know how often you get to hang out with 7-yr-olds, but my camper told me he was entering first grade… first grade! He was still just a child in many ways, not the least of which was that he wanted to be carried everywhere. I don’t mind that fact, but I can assure you that by day 6, constant piggyback rides and shoulder rides wreak havoc on a person’s back. (Note to self for setting my unborn children’s back-riding expectations.)

What made the cricks in my neck and sore back so worth it was the joy that my camper got out of just sitting on my shoulders for a few blocks’ worth of walking. He wanted everyone in the world to watch him getting the treat of riding along on the back of someone who cared for him.

Now, my camper was not just a back-riding little kid… No, no. He wanted to be sure that I worked out my chest and shoulders as well. He quickly found his favorite pool activity was being launched into the air and doing backflips. Think 250 reps of 60 lb front raises at the gym throughout the week. But you should have seen this kid’s face when his little head popped out of the water after every one of those flips. He. Was. Ecstatic.

The flip side of a camper as young as mine is that they have had so little time to learn to recognize, process, and control their emotions. For my young camper, that meant he had a very hard time calming down after he would get frustrated or angry. Having to wait for snack time, leaving the pool, being tired, not being good at an activity… these were all things that caused various levels of frustration.

Throughout the week we had to work as a team to learn how to recognize when he was getting worked up, how best to deal with the frustration, and then get back to having fun. It was exhausting for me. I had to dig to a place within myself that I didn’t know existed to find the patience and caring to help this child become a better version of himself, which is a major goal of camp.

Luckily, with plenty of help from the Camp Horizon staff, we came up with ways for him to process his frustration, use his words to talk about it, and then get him back in the game of having a blast. We learned breathing techniques in yoga class that helped him cool down. He pinpointed drawing as a great way to release some anger when he got worked up. And I learned to pick up on cues that signaled an upcoming bout of frustration. I learned to feel his chest for increased heart rate, and we got better and better about taking preventive measures to keep camp fun for him.

There were so many more experiences that made this past week of camp both rewarding and challenging, but the point is not to give you a play by play of the week. The point is to say that I learned and grew as a person by learning to love, be patient, empathize, support, and have an unwavering sense of commitment to my camper’s growth.

Focusing for 24 hours a day for a full week is so hard… but when we got to the last night of camp and I was sitting next to my camper in our cabin of 8, my camper reminded me why I dig deep, find patience I don’t know if I have, and push myself beyond exhaustion…

We had learned to do a breathing exercise before bed that lasted about 5-6 minutes every night. He would breath in deep over and over as he squeezed different parts of his body and then released the tension. And at the end, he would continue his deep breathing while I had him envision vivid scenes of nature, fun, and companionship in his mind. He was out cold by the time we finished the exercise each night.

On that last night, he stopped me before we did the exercises (he knew he would be asleep by the time we finished). He looked me in my eyes and he said: “I’m gonna miss you, buddy. I’m gonna miss you.”

For every logical, self-serving reason I could give for going out and serving others… My camper’s words on that last night tell me everything I need to know about why I invest in the lives of others. I can’t replace those words with anything else in my life. They come from a place of absolute gratitude. A place of absolute love. A place that knew in the morning he had to return to the life that landed him at camp in the first place. And although it may now be a safe place, it’s never an easy place.

My camper reminded me what it means to be grateful. He reminded me of what it means to serve with an open heart. He reminded me that no matter how much I read, connect with mentors, build a business, or whatever… Nothing in the world teaches so well as the words, “I’m gonna miss you, buddy.”

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