How to Live a Remarkable Life in a Conventional World

I spent this past week in Portland on vacation with my girlfriend, Nicole. We booked our trip around the World Domination Summit, which took place this past weekend. If you want to know more about our travels in Portland, you can read detailed posts on my travel blog at http://www.barrettabrooks.wordpress.com

Chris Guillebeau created The World Domination Summit in 2011 to bring people together around the shared values of community, adventure, and service. This year’s (un)conference was the second annual, held in various locations around the city of Portland, OR. The theme of the conference was the following question:

“How do you live a remarkable life in a conventional world”

And today I want to share the 15 best answers I found to this question from an incredible weekend spent with awesome people.

1.    Be constantly vulnerable

Brene Brown drove home the point loud and clear that being vulnerable is a very good thing. In fact, it is the only way we can live an authentic life in which we truly impact others. Convention tells us to conform, become complacent, and adjust our actions to meet the image others have created for us.

Brene says no to those false ideas. Instead, “Who you are will always trump who you think people want you to be.” In opening the conference, Brene spoke of Conference Anqiety Syndrome, making several points that apply wholly to living a remarkable life.

First, we have to realize that “cool is about self-protection.” Next time I catch myself being cool, I need to remember that vulnerability trumps cool.

Second, we have to remind ourselves that “no one belongs here more than me.” Whether here applies to WDS, a great opportunity at work, traveling around the world, or anything else, I have to remember that I am there for a reason. Only then can I make my maximum contribution.

Finally, “Your experience here cannot exceed your willingness to be vulnerable.” How true that was at WDS and how true it is for my future endeavors. Authentic connection with others only comes from true vulnerability. New friendships, family relationships, deep conversations, and new projects all come more naturally from a place of vulnerability.

I have to remember that if I put myself out there and fail or receive rejection in return, I have done my best. I have been in the arena and until others have been their too, their criticism cannot move me.

To live a remarkable life, I must continue to push myself to be vulnerable.

2.    It is never too late to make a come back

Scott Harrison taught me that to live a remarkable life we must never give up on ourselves, but instead realize that it is never too later to make a comeback. Scott was a night club promoter in NYC with “every vice possible” before he woke up one day and decided to make a change.

He went from drinking, drugging, womanizing, and spending to serving, feeling, growing, and connecting. He went from club promoter to charity founder. He went from morally broke to founding one of the most inspirational and innovative charities known to man: Charity:Water.

In so many ways, Scott’s early story reminded me of my own. Raised in a good family. Smart, Christian kid. Grew up to rebel for no particular reason. Drinking, drugs, sex. Until one day I was forced to make a change or live a life of insignificance. I am still very much in the building phase, but Scott’s story shows me that a remarkable life is well within my reach.

Never give up on yourself. No matter what exists in your past, there is always a greater future to be had if you will allow yourself to dream. Those are the words my heart interpreted from Scott Harrison’s talk.

You are worthy; you are remarkable. It is never too late to make a come back.

3.    Understand who you are

Susan Cain and Jonathan Fields reminded me that knowing thyself is such an important characteristic for having an impact in the world. Susan is an introvert and proud of it. As she spoke I had this intense realization that although I have always been pegged as an extrovert, I really lie closer to the neutral line in between introversion and extroversion. In fact, if anything, I lean to the introvert side of things until I get to know someone, at which point I can settle in and really share myself.

The point made here is that we can always learn something new about ourselves. We never know everything. We never know every little corner of our souls, but we can always work towards ever-greater self-knowledge.

By understanding who I am, I can better understand how to interact with others to create the greatest impact in the world. People who know themselves and actively design their lives around that knowledge can lead remarkable lives no matter what convention is telling us.

4.    Seek adventure

Adventure is one of the shared values of those that choose to attend WDS, and Jodi Ettenberg embodied that value to a great degree. I learned from Jodi that adventure gives us a peek into our own souls, as well as the souls of others. It allows us to catch authentic glimpses of people, cultures, and locales.

Jodi seeks adventure by traveling the world and experiencing food to connect with people. She has learned many ways to eat safe, but authentic in any city and she used our breakout session to pass that knowledge along… To make adventure more accessible to each of us.

“Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.” ~Mark Twain

To live a remarkable life, I must seek adventure.

5.    Kill good ideas in favor of chasing great ideas

David Fugate, founder of Launch Books Literary Agency, was the first to make this point this weekend during his “Book Concepts that Sell” workshop. And then immediately afterwards, Scott Belsky (read more under #6) reiterated the point.

Both men offered great insight. For creative types, coming up with ideas is not the problem. The problem is actually two fold with the first part being that we can often have TOO MANY ideas. The solution is to develop the ability and capacity to kill the good ideas in favor of pursuing the great ideas.

Good ideas lead to a good life. But great ideas lead to a remarkable life. To live a remarkable life, I must always remember to kill the good ideas so that I can spend my energy chasing the great ideas.

6.    Take action consistently

Scott Belsky is the author of Making Ideas Happen and he presented the second half of the two fold problem I mentioned above. When we have many ideas (both good and great), we often end up taking action on none of them.

Scott shared an equation that will lead to living a remarkable life by taking consistent and definitive action:

Making Ideas Happen

=

(Creativity & Ideas + Organization & Execution + Communal Forces + Leadership Capability)

This led to another great moment of evaluation for me. I am great at coming up with ideas and getting them started in the moment of excitement. But then my energy often tapers off and I repeat the process to renew my energy. Scott calls this habit ‘incrementalism’.

But if you look back at those we admire for having lived remarkable lives, they were not incrementalists. Neither were they just creative thinkers with lots of ideas. Instead, they executed on their ideas by combining creativity, execution, community, and leadership.

To live a remarkable life, I must push myself to take consistent action and finish projects. 1 finished project will have infinitely more impact than 100 unfinished projects. Period.

7.    Develop unique superpowers to do good

Chris Brogan is a comic nerd through and through. He was vulnerable in front of a crowd of 1,000 and I loved it. And in the process he reiterated Brene Brown’s message while adding that we have to develop our superpowers to do good.

Chris used some of our favorite superheroes to describe potential superpowers… things like synthesis, empathy, tenacity, and rage. He challenged us to name our superpower and then to test it, fail, and gain confidence from the experience.

By honing our superpowers in this way over time, we will gain the ability to do immense good in the world. In the process, we have to remember that no matter how weird we are, or how unique our superpower may be, it is needed in the world. Therefore, “the weirder you get, the more you will succeed.”

I must develop my unique superpowers by exercising them, learning about their capacity, failing, and gaining confidence. Only then can I use my superpowers to do good and live a remarkable life.

8.    Commit to serving others

Service is yet another of the shared WDS values. Daniel Noll and Audrey Scott taught me that so much can be learned in the service of others. They have been traveling the world for over five years in the name of serving others.

They taught me that an unheard voice can be made loud and clear through service. They taught me that there is more to every story than what we may see on the surface. And they taught me that only through service to others can we truly experience the world and make deep connections.

To live a remarkable life I must always remember to commit to serving others in all that I do.

9.    Leverage your skills and interests to create passion

Cal Newport taught me that many interests can be molded into a passion, a life’s work, or a calling. I didn’t always agree with everything that Cal had to say, as I tend to lean a bit more towards the fact that there is purpose in what we do and any old interest may not spark our sense of purpose over time.

But, Cal’s message did resonate with me in that developing expertise is such an important part of becoming truly passionate about a given interest. The question I encourage my coaching clients to ask themselves is this: which of my interests do I care enough about to become an expert?

When we care enough to pursue an interest until we have developed true expertise and a valuable skillset, we both become more valuable as a contributor and more passionate as a person. Passion contributors live remarkable lives.

To live a remarkable life I will have to become ever more passionate by developing expertise and skills.

10. Tell a great story

One of my close friends gave a wonderful graduation speech in which he said “Tell a great story with your life.” Sarak Peck reiterated that message in her workshop on crafting narratives.

Sarah taught me that crafting narratives and telling great stories is a way of connecting with others. Stories bind us emotionally, communicate our vision, and share our lessons with others. At the end of the day we all have stories, but to live a remarkable life we must create and tell a remarkable story.

That story cannot always be planned. It cannot be controlled. It can only be communicated as is unfolds. It can be shared passionately, as with Scott Harrison. It can be used to interweave with the stories of others. It can be used to inspire. But for it to do all of those things, we must first create it, and then share it.

To live a remarkable life, I must tell a great story with my life.

11. Build a community of support

The third and final shared value of WDSers is community. The value of community in remarkable lives repeatedly made itself clear throughout the weekend. In particular, Corbett Barr’s workshop on instant idea evaluation showed the immense value of a community of support.

Corbett’s session was like a massive mastermind session, and the value of the feedback reminded me that I must build a community of support in order to live a remarkable life. We need feedback, we need constructive criticism, and when we hit the troughs of energy we need support. Building a community provides for all of these things.

Corbett reminded me that I need a mastermind group (which I’m hopefully forming with a couple of fellow attendees). He taught me the value of open, honest feedback.

To live a remarkable life I must build a community of support that will help me and support me.

12. Keep your eyes on your own paper

I learned so much from the attendee stories that we heard on Sunday, but a common theme was keeping my eyes on my own paper. It can be so easy to look at what others are doing and want to do the same. It can be easy to envy and covet and imitate.

But what makes a life remarkable is its uniqueness. Imitators are not heralded for their remarkable copying. We should be inspired by others but “don’t compare your inside to someone else’s outside.” A remarkable life comes from a place of authenticity and vulnerability. It comes from establishing our mission and getting after it.

To live an authentically remarkable life, I have to keep my eyes on my own paper.

13. Transform yourself to transform the world

J.D. Roth is an incredible man with an incredible story of profound personal transformation. J.D. taught me the value of transforming oneself. He reminded me to concentrate on changing myself in order to inspire others to change as well.

J.D. reminded me that focusing on what others should do will not make me better and it is not the way to transform the world. Instead, I should work every day and every month and every year to become a better version of myself. This time next year, as I board the plane to Portland for #WDS2013, I hope to have transformed myself to become a better person.

I can only transform the world by first transforming myself. To live a remarkable life I must embrace and pursue constant personal transformation.

14. Courageously invest in others

Chris Guillebeau has taught me so much through The Art of Non-Conformity (book and blog), The Empire Building Kit, and The $100 Startup… But never has he taught me so much as he did at WDS.

Chris showed me that living a remarkable life means courageously investing in others. It means trusting and empowering those around you to do remarkable things themselves. It means ignoring the trolls and naysayers and critics in favor of supporting the change agents and problem solvers and doers of good.

Chris has made himself vulnerable in countless ways in order to invest in me. He has neglected his natural introversion to stand on stage repeatedly in front of 1,000 people. He has shared his journey liberally with his followers, even when receiving criticism from others. And all the while he has asked for NOTHING in return.

I know that to live a remarkable life I must courageously invest in others.

15. $100 is All it Takes

Chris has also taught me the value of $100. It stated a couple of months ago when I received an advance copy of $100 Startup. It continued when I attended his Atlanta book signing and met him in person for the first time. Through all of this he showed that a meaningful, impactful business can sprout from $100 or less.

But then Chris did something entirely unexpected at the end of the day Sunday. He made the most courageous investment of all in all 1,000 attendees.

He created his own parable of the prodigal son and will be tracking the results over the next year. Combining this year’s profits with an anonymous WDS donation from a 2011 attendee, Chris dispensed $100,000 to the 2012 attendees.

He showed absolute trust and confidence in our ability to do good with the money. He showed a willingness to be absolutely vulnerable in handing out CASH to 1,000 people, many of whom he does not know deeply. Why?

Because he knows we share values of community, adventure, and service. Because he trusted that we would each walk away and willingly bear the burden of responsibility that comes with such a generous gift. And because he wants to see what happens when you empower a group of change-makers with the tools to make it happen.

To live a remarkable life, $100 is all it takes.

#WDS2012

(To learn more about WDS and to sign up to receive notifications about #WDS2013, check out http://worlddominationsummit.com )

Read Full Post »

Knowledge Gaps

Today’s post is quite simply a confession: I lack sales and marketing skills.

The Reality

I’ve been a high achiever all of my life and I don’t like hearing ‘No’. For so much of our life, we’re taught to take ‘No’ as a sign of failure. And in many ways it is.

But I also recognize that ‘No’ is going to be a necessity if I am going to be successful in the long run with Living for Monday. So step one in this whole sales and marketing learning process: Get ok with no.

What I’m Doing About It

I’m essentially doing the same thing I always do with regard to my lack of sales and marketing knowledge — I’m reading, asking questions, and just doing the dang thing. I learned a bit in The Education of Millionaires by Michael Ellsberg. I picked up some very corny, somewhat useful advice form Jeffrey Gitomer. I’m going to look into Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Rich Dad Poor Dad, and the work of Dan Kennedy.

What else should I be reading?

Secondly, I am also seeking advice from people I know and trust. My mother has been an outstanding (integrity-based) saleswoman for her entire professional career. Chris Hanks, Director of the UGA Entrepreneurship program, and Living for Monday business partner is also a great (integrity-based) salesman.

Who else should I meet?

Finally, I’m just sucking it up and putting myself out there. It’s not fun. The target market for our current offering at Living for Monday are my peers. That doesn’t make it any easier, if you ask me. But I’m taking a learning approach. When I hear ‘No’, I ask permission to ask questions. And then I dig in.

What turns you off to the offering? What would you change for it to be of great value to you? What are your personal barriers to making an investment in this service?

These are all questions that help me understand the psychology behind the ‘No’. And I’m already learning a ton about how I need to communicate the value I have provided and will continue to provide to Living for Monday clients.

Why This Matters

It’s part of growing up. It’s part of owning a business.

One of the best lines in The Education of Millionaires went something like this: The entrepreneurial mindset means only I am responsible for results. That’s exactly how it is, and the sooner I put myself out there by learning a new skill, the sooner success will come. Simple as that.

What suggestions do you have for me? What are some of the best sales and marketing resources you have ever used or experienced?

Read Full Post »

Four Skills I Want to Acquire in My Lifetime

Wow, it’s been a while. Forgive me — I’ve had a lot going on over at Living for Monday. We’re building big things for college students, young professionals, and purpose-driven small businesses if you want to check us out.

Anyways, I want to share the four skills I particularly want to acquire before I die. (These could always change, and the list very well could grow longer over time, but this is it for now.) I would consider these four skills to be part of my epic quest, as Steve Kamb puts it, or my bucket list as popularized in the Morgan Freeman/Jack Nicholson movie.

Without further ado:

1. Become an Avid Fly-Fisherman

Throughout my life I have loved fishing. I spent many hours fishing for brim, carp, crappie, and other small fish as a child. Whether on vacation and in a small boat on a remote lake with my dad, or whether on my grandfather’s dock on Lake Lanier… I was enthralled by the act of wrapping bait around a hook, dropping it in the water, and hoping for the best.

And then one day I was out on a lake with my Uncle Chip. I was using the typical fare for a young fisherman — a closed-face spin casting reel. I wasn’t having too much luck, but I was enjoying the time nonetheless. Uncle Chip, on the other hand, was using a fly rod and had hooked a small brim… not too exciting in and of itself until a large mouth bass saw the fish in distress and decided to swallow the brim whole. Long-story short, we set the hook on the bass, my uncle handed me the fly rod, and right then and there I learned how to bring in a fish on a fly rod. I had never used one before, and my uncle set my expectations very low as to whether we would actually land the fish. But lo and behold we did the impossible through a combination of real-time teaching, sheer luck, and a childish belief in the impossible.

I’ve been hooked on becoming a true fly-fisherman ever since.

2. Speak Spanish Fluently

As you may or may not know, my mother’s side of the family is of hispanic descent. My grandmother is 100% of Mexican descent, making me 1/4 Mexican. The point being: the Spanish language is not entirely foreign to my blood, and I think that fact draws me to language more than the average person.

Secondly, my 7th grade Spanish class name was Alfredo. That level of awesomeness in a name can only point to one thing: I am meant to speak Spanish fluently.

If you sense a bit of a facetious tone, it is not for lack of a true desire to speak in another tongue. I love the idea of communicating in a foreign land in the language of the native people. I believe it shows a completely different level of respect for another culture and presents an opportunity to connect with others on a deeper level. Because I am able to speak with an appropriate accent and have developed the most basic of Spanish vocabularies, I would love to build on my knowledge and exercise my skills in either Spain or Mexico.

3. Play a Stringed Instrument

Years ago I tried to follow in my mother’s footsteps by playing the saxophone in middle school band class. Suffice it to say that I was not exactly a naturally talented wind instrument player, so I made the transition to percussion. I am far more adept at producing rhythms than tones, and so the shift worked out well for me.

Because I have always been drawn to tactile activities like sports, yard work, puzzles, and models, it makes be believe that I would be far better with a stringed instrument than I was with a wind instrument. That being said, my tonal recognition is still terrible, so I would almost certainly play out of tune relentlessly.

But no matter — the idea of playing on a violin, viola, or fiddle to entertain my friends at our family’s mountain house is irresistible to me.  Becoming engulfed in the The Tudors, a Showtime TV series, and seeing the court musician has further deepened my desire. I don’t expect to be any kind of prodigy, or even a master of the craft. But I do want to give it a shot.

4. Practice a Martial Art

It is not the violence, but rather the pure athleticism required to excel in a martial art that draws me to its practice. I watched my brother grow into a leader while practicing multiple martial arts as a child and eventually earning his black belt. His ability to kick to the sky, defend himself, and develop immense self-confidence through the practice has given me a deep respect for him and other martial artists.

Over time, I know that I will increasingly lose my ability to play baseball, basketball, and other organized sports that require many people to play. But martial arts seems to me as a kind of escape from everything — something I would equate to the practice of yoga for many. It is an opportunity to remain competitive and become an ever-better version of myself. And that is attractive.

So those are the four skills I would love to adopt as hobbies over time. Undoubtedly, I will be unable to completely master all of the above. Indeed, I will almost certainly have to live with a certain lack of perfection with each of the above. And yet still, I am drawn to the idea of adopting hobbies that require concentration, dedicated effort, and expanding my comfort zone.

What skills would you love to adopt over time? Tell me about one in the comments to this post.

Oh, and as long as you’re here, I would love it if you headed over to the Living for Monday Facebook page and gave us a like. While you’re at it, you can check out our website and offer any suggestions or thoughts for the business on our Facebook page. (Thanks to my girlfriend, Nicole,  and her PR expertise for inspiring me to increase engagement on our Facebook page.)

Read Full Post »

What is a Purpose-Driven Organization?

At Living for Monday, the company I founded in late 2011, we say we’re on a mission to connect purpose-driven individuals with purpose-driven organizations. But what does that mean? Well, I’ve been giving the question a lot of thought recently as we prepare to open our doors for business in August. We’ll be accepting a maximum of 15 purpose-driven companies and organizations as clients at that time.

In order for us to take on an organization as a client, we’ll first certify that they are a purpose-driven company. With that in mind, here are the characteristics I believe make up a purpose-driven culture:

1. Mission-Driven

Mission-driven companies have more than a mission statement – they have a beliefs statement. They unequivocally state their core message for why they exist. Everything they do reflects their mission or core beliefs.

2. Values-Based

Great organizations establish values and then take measured action to live those values. Every decision, from hiring to sales, is made through a values-based lens.

3. Demonstrated beliefs through action

Most importantly, purpose-driven companies use their mission and values to guide their actions. They use them as the basis for all planning and strategic moves. Press releases, publicity, client service, compensation, etc should all reflect the mission and values of a purpose-driven organization.

4. People-Centered

Purpose-driven organizations put people first. They compensate their employees fairly and encourage them to tackle growth and learning opportunities. They also take care of their customers – because employees are taken care of and are hired based on value alignment, customers are taken care of appropriately.

5. Service-Oriented

Purpose-driven organizations have service built into their mold. Whether committing a % of bottom line profits to charity or requiring employees to take paid service days, they enforce the value of service in and out of the business environment.

6. Problem-Solvers

At the end of the day, purpose-driven organizations solve problems. They have a proven track record of success in solving interesting problems and encouraging their employees to innovate in order to tackle ever greater challenges.

These characteristics are very much a first draft of the requirements we will use to vet our potential clients. What are your thoughts? What else would you add to the list? How can we make it better? And how can we measure these characteristics? Please let me know how you think we can use these concepts to create a Purpose-Driven Certification for our clients!

Read Full Post »

Trends: Supplementary Education

One of the things I most often try to do is pick up on trends in the market place. What’s going on out there, how does it affect me (and Living for Monday), and what can we do to be sure we stay abreast of the game-changing trends.

The more I look around and read and learn about whats going on in the marketplace, the more I see this cottage industry popping up across the educational spectrum. I’ll call it supplementary education and I have to say that it intrigues me more than anything I’ve ever read of or experienced.

In the Dec/Jan issue of Fast Company, they ran an excellent, albeit short article on a company called General Assembly. If you flipped the page too fast you would have completely missed it, but luckily I was astute enough to read every word.

In the old days, the ten companies highlighted in the article would be our competitors. But today I look at them as potential collaborators and mentors in producing a generation of productive and self-aware leaders in our work force.

Living for Monday is just getting started, but I’ve got to say that the trend towards supplementary education, focused on real-world learning and personal development is encouraging. It’s a trend we are contributing to and one we will continue to contribute to over time.

We have plenty of problems to solve and obstacles to overcome, but one thing is for certain (courtesy of a text message from my mom today): “There is no such thing as impossible; only what we tell ourselves is impossible.” I am not sure to whom I should attribute that quote, but I do know we are working hard to do something some would say is impossible:

We are helping individuals discover their purpose, take intentional action by aligning with a career that they will love, and be inspired to solve the preeminent problems and seize the premier opportunities of our time.

That’s something I can believe in and something I’m proud to be a part of.

Interesting in joining us? Check out our website, and give me a shout at Barrett at LivingforMonday dot com.

Read Full Post »

Change the World

This is part four of a four part series based on Mastering Purpose’s tag line: Live Your Values. Embrace Your Passions. Dream Big. Change the World.

Let’s do it.

Every human is hard-wired with the ability to change the world

I have an opinion, and you are free to disagree. I believe that every single person is hard-wired with the inherent ability to change the world. Period. Now I also believe each person requires certain triggers, mentors, stimulants, life experiences, luck, or some combination of the above to unlock the inner drive to make things happen, believe in oneself, and then to change the world.

Changing the world is a choice

However, just because we end up with a great mentor, we have crucibles in life which offer us the opportunity to learn, or we fall on a bit of luck…. it does not make changing the world a given. Changing the world is a choice, and it is one that is made consciously.

I also believe that the belief in oneself required to change the world is a trait which can be fostered, nurtured, and instilled. In fact, I have founded my business, Unconventional Innovations, LLC, with this thought in mind. What if we could nail down a way to fundamentally shift the way individuals think about the world we live in and the way they approach the work they do on a daily basis? And then what if we turned that process around and applied it to the companies for whom we go to work? What would happen if everyone operated from this same basic belief that with each new day we are given an opportunity to change lives, and, in turn, the world?

I’ve tried to capture this attitude in my tag line, on which this four post series has been based. Let’s take a step back and look at the progression:

Self-discovery, and, in turn, self-awareness are crucial

Self-discovery and -awareness are the fundamental basis for our entire approach. I firmly believe that to know how we can and should serve the world, we must start with ourselves and take an inside out approach. Four key aspects combine to help us to create our unique path to changing the world: values, passion, dreams, and strengths.

It starts with values

Essentially, personal values are your most authentic self, described in several short words or phrases. If you could name the five things that matter most to you in life, then your personal values should be an accurate reflection of those five things.

Passion is your medium

Embracing your passion starts with having a conversation with your soul.  Our passion provides us a medium through which to apply our values and form our dreams.

Dreams steer the ship

I’ve got news: the most mature and world-changing thing we can do in this moment is to dream big dreams. Dream of changing the worlds most pressing problems. Dream of living the life you have imagined.

Why? Because the world needs us to pursue your dreams in a passionate way based on a set of values that you hold dear. And dreams help us to steer our ship in such a way that we authentically change the world.

Not everyone will do it in the same way – that’s a good thing!

The best thing about changing the world is this: the more unique you are and the more your individuality comes through in your values, passions, and dreams, the better off the world will be. The world will be better off because you will create unique, positive change. And the world is in no shortage of need for unique, positive change.

So, what’s your decision? 

I’ve already said changing the world is a decision… My only question is: What’s your decision? How will you change the world? Please let me know in the comments section! I would love nothing more than to help you along the road to changing the world in your unique way.

What kind of legacy do you want to leave?

Start now… The world needs you. Live your values. Embrace your passions. Dream big. Change the world.

Read Full Post »